2 more observations

2 more observations from my vacation:

1. I've been doing the light therapy for about 3 months--that is, 20 minutes every morning in front of a bright light.  It is suppose to help with mood and sleep regulation.  During vacation, I didn't do it, of course.  I suppose I could have brought along the bright light but that seemed a bit much.  By the end of the vacation I was waking up at 5 am instead of my planned 7 am.  I will start up the light therapy now that I have returned, every morning at 7 am like I did before.  But I have mixed feelings about it.  I wonder what my body would like to do.  If it wants to wake up at 5 am, I can do some yoga (as I have been the last few days), read (I'm usually too tired at night to get very far in my reading), and work.  Then take a nap later on if I need it.  I wonder if that's so bad.  I suppose I can just experiment.  The experiment I want to do right now is see if the light therapy works at this time of year.  This is the time of year when I wake up really early.  This is because the length of day is increasing rapidly and it really affects me!  I'm curious if the light therapy helps me sleep longer.  But after doing that experiment, I might try the other one of just letting my body choose when it wants to sleep and wake up. Without drugs like caffeine and alcohol, I can see what my natural pattern really is.  Which brings me to my next point.
2. After I became a nutritarian and learned what to eat and how to do it, I started feeling better without the coffee and alcohol and sugar, so eventually stopped using those drugs.  I felt more at peace without them, but I also was more in touch with the raw emotions:  wo, I'm cranky, groggy, lonely, sad, happy (that one was okay!).  I'm at a meeting where everyone else is hyped up on sugar and caffeine and I'm just here with a little morning grogginess (which, admittedly is peaceful).  In the past, I could wash my feelings away with my morning cup of coffee or an evening glass of wine or beer, or a donut at a meeting.  Just feeling the dullness or emotions of no drugs, well, it is different.  That took some getting used to.  Meditation is helping me see that that is a good thing.  I'm more in touch with my feelings than I have been in years.  I've been resisting this but I guess I will embrace them.  Fun journey ahead.