So, when I said that being done school and working full-time all summer would leave me plenty of time for blogging, I guess I was getting ahead of myself...
Don't get me wrong, my stress levels are lower, but by the time I finish commuting home at the end of the day, I don't seem to have the energy to sit on my butt and blog. I really am going to try to make an effort to blog more though, because I miss you guys!
I thought I would just update you on a few of the goings on in my life. Fun things, not so fun things, progress that I have noticed in the ED department. There is so much to catch up on!
First of all, I need to put in a shameless plug for my brother's band, Inlet Sound. They just came out with a new video and it is their best one yet!
Work is still great. I am out in the field every day now and I love it. I get to drive around, going to peoples' houses and talking to them about stormwater. It's pretty much the best job I could have right now. Plus, I get to wear this really snazzy fluorescent orange shirt with yellow stripes. I look like a traffic cone (pictures to follow eventually).
I also get to be active everyday, which is great. I am in and out of the car, running all over the city, plus I take the stairs up to my 9th floor office. Booyah!!
Little tidbit for anyone who like Simply Bars. I tried the new Chocolate Mint Simply Whey bar and it is amazing! Try it! Not quite as good as coconut, but nothing can ever be as good as coconut.
I am also loving having new roommates. I still miss a couple of my old ones, but there are a few that I definitely won't miss. I think that living with younger people has restored a little bit of the playfulness I had at the beginning of university. On Sunday night, me and a few of my roommates didn't feel like going downtown (seeing as it would have been the 3rd night in a row), so we decided to stay home and prank our other roommate. That involved writing obscene and/or funny pictures and phrases on about 200 sticky notes and decking out his room. Immature? Yes. Awesome? Definitely.
He should really lock his door...
Although things have mostly been good and I have really been on the right track, there has been the odd thing that sets me back in working through my ED. The last time I had a full-time job, I was restricting like crazy. I used to use the work day as an excuse to eat less, because I could just pack as much food as I was going to allow myself to have and not eat any more than that.
While I am not in the same place I was back then, I have still found myself wondering "how much" food to bring to work with me. If I don't bring enough and I don't have time (or want to spend the money) to go out and get something else, I am way too hungry. In the past, this would have been a convenient way to under-eat, but I am trying to break the association between working full-time and starvation.
There was also an incident in a thrift shop a week or so ago that bummed me out. I had had my eye on this cure lace dress for a while, and I finally decided to go try it on. As I was taking it into the change room, the sales girl said, "Umm, that dress is really small." The tone in here voice included the subtext, "And you are NOT."
This instantly made me very aware of my body and my size. I was determined to try it on anyway, but just as she had predicted, it did not fit. Not only that, but she took the liberty of telling exactly how much too small it was by indicating on my back how far the two zippers were from closing. I took it off and moved on, but everything I tried on after that just looked horrible in my own eyes.
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| It was a lot like this scene... |
This is the kind of situation that could either throw someone into a relapse or make them stronger, and I am choosing the latter. I'm sorry, but when I was able to fit into that dress, I was weak, frail and hungry. I'll take strength over a dress any day.
Despite a few setbacks, I do feel like I am in a better place than I have been in a long time in terms of letting go of the anxiety around food. For example, I would have NEVER bought nuts 6 months ago, but now I always have a container of almonds in my cupboard and I eat them every day.
I have also been the one suggesting treats like froyo.
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| Recycled picture, but it captures all the deliciousness. |
Even when I was starting to eat sugar again, I would only really have something dessert-like if another person offered it to me, and it was generally because I was trying not to be rude. However, lately I have been the one actually initiating trips to Menchies, or voluntarily having a cookie as a snack when they are around the house.
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| Cyclops cookie. Rawr. |
How's that for progress?
Oh, and one more thing...
TWO MORE FREAKIN' DAYS!!!!!
How do you deal with negative comments?
Favourite AD quote anyone??
