So, despite a few setbacks in my attitude recently and the difficulties that come along with being at home for the holidays, I feel like I have made a pretty good come-back.
Today will be my sixth day in a row of hot yoga and I am feeling great! There is something about practicing yoga that puts your mind at ease and boosts your confidence at the same time. I already feel a little lighter (emotionally) and healthier. Not to mention that one of the cute male instructors asked me if I was a yoga teacher the other day. I'm not, but if I look like one then I must look pretty good in there :)
I have also been doing my best lately to face scary foods and do things I wouldn't normally do.
For starters, I ordered that dress. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, you can check out this post. I realized at a certain point how trivial my worries were. I mean, talk about first world problems! I was afraid to order a dress - that I am lucky enough to be able to afford in the first place - because I was afraid I would look fat in said dress from eating enough food, which I am also lucky to have.
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| First world problems... |
You would think after living in India for 4 months, that kind of thing would be a no-brainer for me, but ED thoughts have a tendency to skew your perception of the world. From now on, I am going to be more cognizant of those irrational feelings.
Oh, and by the way, the dress looks awesome.
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| We don't have a full-length mirror, so this is the best I can do. |
Should I wear it with tights and high-heeled boots or simple black pumps?...
I also pulled another particularly ballsy move recently, but there is a bit of a lead-up story. I will warn you that this story doesn't portray me as brave and wonderful throughout; I am a bit ashamed of the way I behaved in certain respects.
So, my dating-life has been on-hold for a few months now and I realized that I am way too picky and closed-off when it comes to the guys I date. I have this perfect image of what I want in a relationship and no one else gets a chance.
Anyway, I thought it was about time to expand my horizons, so I ended up asking a guy out (there's #4 on my 2013 Bucket List!). He is actually a friend of mine who I had turned down more than once because I wasn't attracted to him. However, he is funny, smart, kind and interesting, so I wanted to give him a chance, hoping the attraction could develop.
He took me out for dinner and we had a nice time chatting, but I also realized that we just didn't have that kind of chemistry and there was no point in forcing it. I even caught myself reciprocating when the very cute server flirted with me. Not my finest moment.
After the date, I was a little bummed. Why can't I find a great guy who actually likes me who I also have great chemistry with? I even thought back to the hot server, who I had had more of a spark with in our few encounters than I had with my date in the whole evening! I have this tendency to get down on myself and assume every awesome guy is out of my league. I thought, "why can't I land a guy like that?" Then I thought, "Maybe I can"...
I decided I was going to grow a pair and go out on a limb. What did I have to lose? So the next day, I went to the restaurant and dropped off a note with my number for the server. I don't know what I was expecting. He could have had a girlfriend, a wife, a boyfriend or just thought I was plain creepy. I was pretty sure I wouldn't get a response, so I put it out of my head.
Well, Hottie-McServer-Guy texted me. He actually texted! It turns out we have a ton in common, he thought I was really cute that night and he is going to take me out when I'm back in town. How's that for taking a shot in the dark and hitting your target? Even though I am still feel guilty about how it worked out with the other guy, I am actually proud of myself for being bold and having a little faith in myself.
So, I just wanted to give you that little update. I'm feeling pretty fierce right now ;)
Happy Friday!
How do you get yourself out of a funk?
Have you done anything recently that took a lot of b...guts?
